In Which Carlos is Inexplicably Suave
by Aranelle
Summary: Carlos is a huge failure when it comes to girls. It takes him awhile to realise exactly why.
1. Chapter 1

Summary: Carlos is a huge failure when it comes to girls. It takes him awhile to realise exactly why.

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><p>It takes Carlos a good long time to figure out why he's such a failure with girls. He trips over his words, does the wrong thing at the wrong time, and is generally just completely inept when it comes to flirting. He'd thought, for a few days anyway, that he might've found what he was looking for with Sasha, but that ended up failing too, because there was the whole problem that Gustavo hired her to be his girlfriend. It's depressing, to be so handicapped when he talks to girls, and he decides to go on a self imposed hiatus from dating after the disaster with Kendall and Jo trying to set him up.<p>

He thinks long and hard during his hiatus from the world of women, trying to figure out what the common denominator is. He knows that James would be much better at helping him with this, so he finally swallows his pride and seeks his best friend out after day two. James spends a good five minutes laughing his ass off before sobering up and fixing Carlos with an intent stare, like he's trying to see into Carlos's soul. They talk for hours, James patiently explaining that girls and flirting are not everyone's forte, and that Carlos just needs to relax and let nature take its course. Carlos resists the urge to slap James upside the head, because really? He was hoping for more of a, "here, try this move, girls love it," not a, "you're going to be alone forever at this rate."

He contemplates talking to Logan too, because the swagger app was really sort of genius, just like Logan, maybe they can come up with something to help him flirt better. He reconsiders when he sees Logan trying to flirt with another new girl, Logan's almost as hopeless as he is.

And then there's Kendall. Who's awesome and their leader and has a _girlfriend_, and that's reason enough to ask him for tips. He corners Kendall after he comes home from a date with Jo a few days after Carlos tried talking to James, and if Carlos isn't mistaken he's got a hickey just under the collar of his shirt. Kendall smiles at him, and Carlos feels his heart race a little, wondering what the hell is up with that as they sit down on the couch.

"So what's up?" Kendall asks, fingering the collar of his shirt uncomfortably.

"You have a hickey, dude," Carlos says, barely masking his glee, "I didn't realise Jo was a vacuum."

"Shut up," Kendall says, rolling his eyes, "you wanted something from me, remember? Keep making fun of me and you're on your own." Carlos thinks this is a good point, so he dives into the conversation, exactly like he always does.

"I need you to teach me to talk to girls," he says, and Kendall looks like he's about to burst out laughing, "because I suck at it, except for Sasha, and I don't know why." Kendall eyes him curiously, like Carlos is a puzzle he can put together, before smiling.

"Maybe girls just aren't your thing, man," he says easily, and Carlos arches an eyebrow.

"What the hell kind of advice is that?" he asks incredulously. "Obviously they're not my thing, that's why I'm asking you for help." Kendall chuckles and eyes Carlos again, almost appraisingly.

"Just saying, maybe you should broaden your horizons," he says before getting up and clapping Carlos on the shoulder, leaving him alone with his extremely confused thoughts.


	2. Chapter 2

It dawns on him the next afternoon what Kendall meant, and Carlos resists the urge to go deck him, because he is _not_ gay. Except that Sasha was kind of a tomboy. And he didn't have any trouble talking to her. And fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck. He's totally gay. He paces his bedroom for a half hour, thoughts in turmoil, before he finally admits it to himself, because what sense is there in resisting? After all, there's nothing _wrong_ with it, it's just...different. And new. And he's not sure how to tell the guys, which all of a sudden has him terrified. He decides to seek out Camille, figuring Jo would tell Kendall, and Carlos knows he's not ready for that yet.

He finds Camille in the lobby, rehearsing lines for…Carlos has given up trying to guess these days, it's always something different. He plops down next to her, sighing a little, because it's one thing to admit he's gay to himself, but saying it out loud is _totally_ different.

"Hey, Carlos," Camille says, turning to him with a bright smile before seeing the expression on his face, immediately turning serious. "What's wrong?"

"I…can we go talk somewhere more private?" he asks, standing up and offering her a hand. She nods wordlessly and follows him outside onto the lawn, where they sit down, and Carlos stares at his hands, not sure how to start.

"What's wrong?" Camille asks again, reaching out to squeeze his knee. "You can tell me, Carlos, you look like you're about to throw up."

"I'm…Camille, I'm gay," Carlos blurts out, looking up at her and feeling a little panicked. Camille smiles at him, squeezing his knee again.

"So?" she asks, sliding over next to him and wrapping an arm around his shoulders. "It's no big deal, Carlos, you know I don't hate you or anything."

"I know," Carlos says with a smile, glad to have the confirmation that they're still friends, "I just don't know how to tell anyone else." Camille makes a soft noise, and Carlos turns to look at her, eyebrow raised.

"I really don't think you have anything to worry about," Camille says, and she's smirking, "I know for a fact that you're not the only one out of your friends that's having this issue." Carlos stares at her, wondering what the hell she's talking about, because the other guys are really, really not gay.

"What?" he asks, eyes widening when Camille laughs.

"Carlos, I think you're the last one of the four of you to figure this out," she says, smirking again, "or at least, you're the last one to question it."

"What?" Carlos says again, because he's eloquent like that. Camille laughs.

"You know part of the reason Logan and I broke up is because of James, right?" she asks, and Carlos nods, because he knows James and Camille kind of made out.

"Yeah, we all know that," Carlos says, confused at the expression on Camille's face.

"I don't mean that the way you're clearly thinking about it," she laughs, and Carlos is really confused now.

"Carlos," Camille says patiently, "Logan and I broke up because he's in love with James, not because I am. They've been dating since Logan and I broke up."

"Okay, now you're just screwing with me," Carlos says, eyes wide, because there's no way he wouldn't have noticed James and Logan dating. Camille laughs and shakes her head, gesturing over to the hotel as James and Logan walk out of it.

"Watch," she says, pointing as they walk over to a quiet area and sit down, Logan leaning back against James's chest. Then James's arms wind around Logan's waist, making Carlos wonder if he'd been walking around blind for the last few weeks, because they're _really_ obvious.

"Uh, okay I see what you mean," he says, "how did I miss that?" Camille laughs again, squeezing Carlos's shoulders.

"They're not obvious unless they think no one else is watching," she says, smirking, "I don't know how all four of you ended up gay, though."

Carlos turns to Camille again, wondering when the hell the world got flipped on its axis. "What d'you mean, all four of us?" Camille smirks again, and Carlos thinks she's enjoying this just a little too much.

"I don't think Kendall really knows it yet," she says, "but Jo and I talk, you know, she _is_ my best friend." Carlos knows he probably looks ridiculous with his mouth hanging open, but he's really thinking he fell and hit his head and this is all a weird dream.

"Why would she keep dating him if he's gay?" he asks faintly, eyeing Camille like she's trying to put one over on him.

"Because she knows he's confused," Camille shrugs, "she loves him, and she wants him to be happy, so she's trying to help him." Carlos nods, because that makes sense, and it sounds like Jo, which is good enough for him. They talk for almost another hour, and Carlos can't help it when he sneaks glances over at James and Logan, smiling a little when he sees James tilt Logan's chin back and kiss him soundly.


	3. Chapter 3

He finds himself back in the apartment later that afternoon, grinning a little when Kendall walks in. He wonders if Kendall knows that Jo and Camille talk about him, and he motions his friend over, tugging him down on the couch once he's close enough.

"So you were right," he says, "about girls. I need to broaden my horizons." Kendall's eyes get a little wide before he carefully schools his expression into nonchalance.

"That's great, man," he says, smiling at Carlos, and now that he's admitted the whole gay thing to himself he realises the fluttery feeling is probably him developing a crush on Kendall. He eyes Kendall critically, wondering exactly how much Kendall knows about what Carlos is going through.

"How'd you know?" he asks curiously. "Was I giving off some kind of gay vibe?" Kendall shakes his head, and Carlos is suddenly struck by the urge to kiss him.

"No, not really," Kendall says, shrugging, "you know, just...figured I'd suggest it."

"Because you've thought about it too?" Carlos asks with a smirk. Kendall stares at him like he's grown another head, and Carlos knows that Camille was right, Kendall clearly hasn't figured anything out yet.

"How'd you know that?" he asks softly.

"Why else would you suggest it to me?" Carlos asks, shrugging. "It's no big deal, dude, clearly I have no issue with it."

"Yeah, I don't know," Kendall says, looking uncomfortable, "Jo is great, but...I don't know." Carlos nods, because he kind of gets what Kendall's talking about.

"Have you ever, you know, done anything with a guy?" he asks curiously, the beginnings of a plan forming in his head. Kendall shakes his head, looking uncomfortable.

"That'd be cheating," he says, frowning a little, "although the way Jo talks sometimes I think she's encouraging me to go find a guy to make out with or something, it's weird." Carlos chuckles a little, because he knows Jo probably has been, thanks to Camille.

"Well, why not then?" he asks, smirking as Kendall's eyes get wide. "I mean, it's one thing to think you might be gay, but who knows? You might think kissing guys is gross, maybe Jo's just not the girl for you." Kendall's staring at him, and Carlos shrugs, he doesn't want to come on too strong, after all.

"Just saying," he says easily, "if she's giving you hints it might be something to think about."

"I- yeah, I guess," Kendall says awkwardly, and Carlos grins a little, because he might not be the sharpest tool in the shed, but he can practically see the wheels in Kendall's head turning, wondering if Carlos is offering to make out with him. Which he kind of is, but he isn't about to admit that, although he does vaguely wonder when he got so suave. He figures it's because Kendall's not a girl.

"I…" Kendall trails off, "will you kiss me, then? So I can see what it's like?" Carlos bites back a laugh, because even though he'd been hoping Kendall would fall for his really thinly veiled plan he wasn't actually expecting it to work. He's honest with himself, after all.

"You're not a bad kisser, are you?" he asks, sliding a little closer to Kendall, suddenly feeling awkward. Kendall scowls a little at him.

"You're not making this any less awkward," Kendall says, reaching out to settle a hand on Carlos's knee, and the tension between them is so thick Carlos thinks he could actually cut it with a knife. He pulls his helmet off and sets it behind him on the couch, because that'd probably get in the way, and Carlos knows he's hoping Kendall will want more than one kiss from him.

"You're not helping either," he retorts, covering Kendall's hand with his own, "are you going to kiss me or what? You're the one that wants to experiment." Kendall huffs out an indignant breath and scoots a little closer to Carlos, eyeing him hesitantly.

"You don't have to, you know," Carlos sighs, knowing Kendall needs a tiny push, "not if you're going to be this afraid of it." Kendall's eyebrows shoot into his hairline, and Carlos briefly wonders if he pushed too hard, but then Kendall is closing the distance between them, pressing his lips against Carlos's firmly. Carlos's eyes fall shut, and if there was ever any doubt in his mind it's been completely obliterated, because this? Is awesome. And Kendall's a _good_ kisser. Kendall's hands come up to rest on his shoulders, like he's grounding himself, and Carlos reaches up to wrap his hands around Kendall's wrists gently. He pulls back after a moment, looking up at his friend.

"Well?" he asks. "How do I measure up?" Kendall's silent, and Carlos wonders if he ruined things between them, his heart in his throat.

"You're good," Kendall says, smiling a little, "but now I'm really confused." Carlos smiles sympathetically, instinctively knowing not to push any more.

"It's okay," he says, sliding back to put a little space between them, "you wanna talk about it at all?" Kendall shakes his head, frowning a little.

"Let me think a little," he says, looking apologetic, "I think I'm going to go take a walk." Carlos nods with a smile, he knows Kendall will be back before too long.


	4. Chapter 4

Carlos is shocked when he turns out to be right, because he's never been good at this kind of thing with girls; apparently his problem wasn't relationships, it was the people he was pursuing. Kendall seeks him out a few hours later, looking a little frayed. He sits down next to Carlos on the couch, and Carlos frowns at the expression on his friend's face.

"Jo broke up with me," Kendall says after a minute, and Carlos immediately feels bad, he hadn't wanted Kendall to get hurt, "she said if I'm questioning things then I shouldn't be tied down to one person, not until I figure it out." Carlos nods, reaching out to grip Kendall's shoulder reassuringly, knowing instinctively again that any more contact would probably scare him off.

"Are you?" he asks, hoping he hit the nonchalance he was aiming for. Kendall turns to look at him, and if Carlos isn't mistaken Kendall leans into his touch a little. He squeezes Kendall's shoulder again, resisting the urge to pull his friend into his arms, because he needs Kendall to make that move, and he hasn't. Yet.

"See, that's the problem, I don't think I am," Kendall says, sounding equal parts confused and sure of himself, "I know I really like Jo, but kissing you was...I can't even compare it." Carlos arches an eyebrow, moving a little closer to Kendall so he can slide his arm around his friend's shoulders.

"How so?" he asks, hoping he's not overstepping his bounds. He feels Kendall's shrug more than he sees it, frowning a little in sympathy for him.

"I really liked it," Kendall says quietly, turning to look at him, and he's definitely leaning into Carlos now, "and it's scaring me a little. How do I tell James and Logan I'm gay? Have you?" Carlos can't help the laugh that explodes out of him, smiling apologetically once he gets himself more under control.

"Sorry, sorry," he gasps out, using the opportunity to pull Kendall into his arms completely and hold him there, "it's just funny, dude, that you're so worried about it, because I learned something new about them today."

"What are you talking about?" Kendall asks, relaxing against Carlos, who does a mental victory fist pump.

"They're dating, man, they're not going to have a problem," Carlos chuckles, "apparently Camille likes to watch them make out when they think no one's watching."

"Oh," Kendall says, leaning his head back against Carlos's shoulder, tilting his head so he's looking Carlos in the eye, "but you haven't told them yet."

"No," Carlos agrees, resisting the urge to kiss Kendall again, "we can tell them together, if you want." Kendall smiles a little, and Carlos feels his heart flutter again.

"I'd like that," Kendall says, and he tilts his head up a little, eyeing Carlos strangely. Carlos can almost see Kendall's train of thought, he's clearly hoping Carlos will kiss him again.

"Okay," Carlos hums, smiling as he leans forward, almost involuntarily, "together, then."

"Yeah," Kendall says, licking his lips, and the tension is too much to take any longer so Carlos closes the distance, kissing Kendall firmly for the second time that day. Kendall immediately responds, twisting in Carlos's arms and wrapping his arms around Carlos's neck. Carlos smirks a little against Kendall's mouth, reaching up to cup his friend's face, thumbs caressing his cheeks. Kendall doesn't pull away, he just keeps kissing, and Carlos can't stop a tiny whine from escaping as Kendall's tongue pushes into his mouth.

"Why don't we go somewhere more private?" Carlos asks after a minute, a little breathlessly. "I don't want to get walked in on." Kendall nods, extricating himself from Carlos's grip and standing, offering Carlos a hand up. They head into the bedroom Carlos shares with Logan, Carlos leading Kendall over to his bed and sitting them down.

"So," he says, looking at Kendall and feeling a little awkward, because making out on the couch is one thing, but the mood's been broken now, and making out on someone's bed is a totally different situation.

"So," Kendall says again, looking everywhere in the room but at Carlos.

"I'm sorry," Carlos says after an awkward moment, "I broke the mood." Kendall laughs a little at that, finally looking Carlos in the eye.

"It's cool," he says, smiling, "I...do you wanna keep going?"

"Yeah," Carlos nods, and he sees the relief pass over Kendall's face. A big part of him kind of wishes he'd realised he was gay years ago, it would have saved him so much humiliation, apparently he's really good at relationships with guys. Or it could just be Kendall. In either case, he's not going to complain, because he's here now, which is good enough. Kendall's staring at him curiously, and Carlos realizes he got lost in his own thoughts and spaced out.

"Sorry," he laughs, sliding toward Kendall again, reaching out to settle a hand on his knee. Kendall arches an eyebrow, and Carlos shakes his head with a grin.

"Just thinking how nice it is to not suck at this," he says, "I really sucked at talking to girls."

"You did," Kendall agrees with a laugh, "are you gonna kiss me again or what? That's what we came in here for, after all." Carlos rolls his eyes playfully before reaching out with the hand that's not on Kendall's leg to cup his friend's neck, pulling him close and kissing him soundly. Kendall groans a little in response, which is really hot, so Carlos keeps kissing him, wanting to hear him make that noise again.

"Oh fuck," Kendall gasps after a moment, pulling away from Carlos's lips to kiss down his neck, which is evidently something that's also hot, because Carlos feels his whole body shudder.

"Fuck is right," he agrees, reaching up to fist a hand in Kendall's hair, steadying himself with his other hand on Kendall's hip. His head tilts back of its own accord to give Kendall better access to his neck, and Kendall crawls closer to him, pushing him onto his back and moving on top of him.

"You're so hot, Carlitos," he mutters, moving to crush their lips together, "why didn't I notice this months ago?"

"Probably for the same reasons I didn't notice how hot you are," Carlos groans, his hips arching up into Kendall, trying to get friction, "Jesus, Kendall, you're driving me insane."

"Good," Kendall says, laughing softly, his hips rolling again. Carlos pushes against Kendall's shoulders, trying to get him to back off a little, because at this rate he's going to lose it embarrassingly soon, and he's not ready for that yet. Kendall pulls back when he registers Carlos shoving at him, looking a little panicked, like he thinks he went too far.

"Relax, Kendall, I don't want you to stop," Carlos says, pulling Kendall down to kiss him again, "just slow down, let's not end this before it even starts." Kendall lets out a sigh of relief against Carlos's lips, and Carlos moves so Kendall is laying next to him instead of on top of him, shifting so they can kiss easier.

"Let's take our time," he murmurs against Kendall's lips, reaching up to thread his fingers through his friend's hair, and Kendall nods in agreement.

"I like this idea," he murmurs, wrapping an arm around Carlos's waist, and Carlos thinks he could stay like this forever. They spend hours kissing like that, and Carlos wonders vaguely through the haze in his brain how he ended up making out with another guy only hours after he realised he was gay.

They finally take a break when it starts to get dark out, and only because they hear the slam of the door as someone comes into the apartment. Carlos pulls back to look at Kendall, whose face is flushed, lips swollen and hair a mess, and it's the hottest thing Carlos has ever seen in his entire life.

"Ready to go out and face whoever's there?" he asks softly, and Kendall nods, looking nervous.

"Yeah, except we look like we've been fucking," he says, laughing a little, and Carlos knows the tone in his voice, he's really nervous. He eyes Carlos curiously, and Carlos can see the thoughts in his head again, almost like the words are written out on his forehead.

"Do you want to be?" he asks, smirking to himself when Kendall's eyes get wide, and Carlos takes a moment to mentally pat himself on the back for his new intuitiveness.

"I- do- what?" Kendall stutters, staring at Carlos.

"Be like James and Logan," Carlos says, smiling a little.

"I...do you?" Kendall asks softly, staring at Carlos like he hopes he can read the answer on Carlos's face. Carlos shrugs.

"If you want," he says, smiling, "I don't think I mind the idea of having access to this all the time." Kendall's face lights up a little at that, and Carlos feels his heart flutter again, so he reaches out to pull Kendall into a kiss before climbing off the bed and holding out his hand. Kendall takes it, using Carlos as leverage to pull himself off the bed, and Carlos reaches up to make an attempt at straightening Kendall's hair out, because he really does look kind of ravished.

"You look hot like this," he says quietly, "when we have more time alone I want to make you look this way again." Kendall grins at him a little, and they walk out of the bedroom to see James and Logan sitting on the couch, leaping apart when they hear someone else in the room.

"Oh, hey guys," James says, looking uncomfortably at Logan, because they were totally cuddling a few minutes ago. Carlos watches James's expression as he catches sight of Kendall's mussed hair, and Carlos thinks he might have a few hickeys on his neck, because Kendall really seemed to like kissing it, and he feels himself flush red.

"Were you two making out in there?" Logan asks with a knowing smirk, and Carlos thinks it's a good thing he and Kendall were planning on telling them anyway. Kendall freezes and turns to Carlos, looking a little panicked, so Carlos grabs his hand and squeezes it tight.

"Yeah," Kendall finally says, eyeing their friends a little defiantly, which Carlos finds sort of adorable, "so?"

"So nothing," James says with a chuckle, motioning them over. Kendall doesn't release Carlos's hand as they walk over and sit down, and Carlos smiles as he watches Logan slide back into James's arms.

"We were actually going to tell you about this today," Logan says, gesturing to himself and James as he rests his head on James's shoulder. He smiles as Kendall makes himself comfortable at Carlos's side, resting his head on Carlos's shoulder as he stretches out on the couch.

"So when did you two start making out?"

"A few hours ago," Carlos says with a laugh, smirking at James and Logan. "Did you know Camille spies on you two when you make out outside?" Logan lets out a choked noise at that, making Kendall and Carlos both burst out laughing.

"You said no one could see us!" Logan exclaims indignantly, trying to push James away from him, and James just rolls his eyes and pulls Logan that much closer.

"Relax, Logan, she doesn't care," James says soothingly, "besides, half the fun is potentially getting caught." Logan makes a face and struggles half heartedly before seemingly resigning himself to being held by James.

"I am never letting you talk me into anything ever again," he mutters, and Carlos can feel Kendall shaking with silent laughter. He turns his head to look at Kendall, who smiles at him, and Carlos feels that fluttery feeling again. He tilts his head down to capture Kendall's lips in a kiss, ignoring the hoot that James lets out, because he didn't realise that he was looking for Kendall when he was going after girls, but now that he has him he's never letting go.


End file.
